confidence café

Hi Fiona, thank-you, it feels like im not gonna get over this pain, but on the other hand I am glad I know now rather than waste my life any longer. One thing I have learned is to trust my intuition, and never second guess myself again. I have felt these feelings before and he always would tell me that I am everything he wants in a woman. What a joke, I feel embarassed that I allowed him to take my power, and he would convince me that this was all in my head, that he would never hurt me that way. No more though, ive had enough..If you would like to contact me Fiona, please do..

Hi ladies, and thanx meg for your words of encouragement, however I have recently found out that he has a girlfriend. Im devastated, and sad especially after agreeing we were going to work on our relationship. He is even bringing her to mexico next month, to an all inclusive resort. That cuts too. I feel im going to lose my mind, i have no appetite, and am not sleeping. He was and has denied everything i have found out about his affair, but recently told me the truth. He told me he wants to take a break, and have a peaceful walk with her. Wow, how do i respond to that?

I just found this site - it might be helpful to those of you struggling with your partners porn addiction (and for them too)
http://www.feedtherightwolf.org/

Thanks Lindalu for your post. I agree that porn is changing our society and affecting us hugely. I have to say even though I'm more open minded about things than I used to be Tricia, but I don't see one thing that can possibly be good about watching porn. It can definitely become a powerful addiction that can lead men to more powerful lust/sex addictions as prostitutes to even child molestation. There's plenty of research out there that's shown this to be the case. I think I'm actually really lucky - my husband doesn't actually want to look at porn but has said that it's a way of replacing emotional pain with physical pleasure. I will look up that Candeo thing you mentioned Lindalu. I also found a great book that was advertised on this site called "How to have the relationship you want" by Rori Raye - it's been really good too. My jealousy is probably getting a bit out of control - more than it is justified. My husband is making a real effort to not look at women in public now too as I always used to catch him having more than a 'quick glance'. I feel so uncomfortable when beautiful 'hot' women come on tv etc. It's because I wonder if my husband is having lustful thoughts about them. But our relationship is so much better just in the last few weeks. I think being vulnerable to one another is the key. Sharing your feelings without accusing.

I agree with anne's comment about women wanting to be encouraged and not reminded of the negs about men and their porn...yes it does hurt people, aporn is'nt for everyone, you have to be happy with yourself and you're partner and have some fun!Yes, Everyones different and each have insecurities. Don't mock those that also like porn as couples, there's nothing wrong with that either..... People are allowed to view their points including us!

Has anyone bought the Jealousy workbook and can comment on it? is it worth the price?

Hi ladies,i am in a marriage of over 18 yrs, my self worth and jealousies have been very taxing on me and our marriage. we have not been communicating verbally since the new year and am finding this very difficult. We write, e mail, and text. We are not living together at the moment, and find i am struggling to go forward with my issues I need to work on. Although writing to each other has calmed the reactions we would have with each other when we were communicating verbally, I find by writing to each other we are responding to each other which is so much more safer, and kinder. I am having such difficulties with all of this and my feelings, that i am not copeing with. I e mailed him and told him that we should have no contact at all until we can get our personal issues worked out. Now I have fear about what hes gonna say. Im definately feeling insecure with my decision.