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frequently asked questions

Below you'll find some of the most common questions sent to our Customer and Technical Support Teams.

Please use this page as your first port-of-call if you have a problem.

Questions and Answers are organised into sub-groups to make it easier to find what you want. If you click on a particular question in one of the sub-groups, you'll get taken straight to the answer you seek.

If you do not find what you're looking for on this page, please contact us. We'll be happy to help!

about our self-help resources:

payments:

problems taking the tests:

problems downloading:

problems using my eWorkbooks:

problems using the Confidence Café:

seminars, courses, and other professional help:

what's an eBook / eBooklet / eWorkbook?

All of our self-help resources are provided as files that you can download to your own computer. They can then be OPENED on the computer and PRINTED OUT so that you can have paper copies in your hands and refer to them whenever you want. And, if you don't have a printer of your own, it's very simple to have your local print-shop produce a hard copy for you should you require it.

So the "e" in eBook merely signifies that the book's contents are stored electronically so that we can transmit the material to you with the minimum of fuss and without any delay. All of our materials are transmitted as Adobe Acrobat files, so that they can be read on any modern computer.

So, in effect, you can make your own "book" containing everything you need to start to improve your self-esteem or reduce your stress levels within only a few minutes of making your purchase.

Please note that, not surprisingly, an eBook contains rather more pages than an eBooklet - which is why we make the distinction. And an eWorkbook is packed full of practical advice which is reinforced with exercises and activities, rather than merely being something to browse or read.

if I make a purchase, can I have a hard copy of the material sent to my home instead of downloading it?

No.

We offer all of our self-help resources in a convenient downloadable format because most women who have issues with their self-esteem or stress levels are looking for help right away - they usually don't want to send off for a book that will take several days to arrive in the post. We pride ourselves on delivering targeted and effective self-help resources within minutes of purchase, and this is proving very popular with the women who use our site.

Also, we couldn't offer this high-quality material at such affordable prices if we had to provide a printing and shipping service as well!

when will my books arrive?

As soon as you download them to your computer! To do this, make sure that you've logged in to your account, then navigate to your "My Account" page and follow the straightforward instructions that you'll find there.

In spite of our explanations on our purchase page and in the shopping cart area, we still get a few people who purchase from us and then wait patiently for a package to be delivered to their doorstep. We are very sorry if you misunderstood that our self-help resources are for download only, but that is what they are!

can you confirm that membership is really free?

The short answer is that membership is FREE, and we can assure you that there are no hidden costs. In addition, all of our tests are free and we provide free feedback in the form of results and recommendations, including free eReports that you can download at your convenience. We also offer premium self-help resources for which we have to make a small charge in order to fund this website. Premium resources provide you with more in-depth guidance and support to improve your self-esteem and stress levels in the areas of your greatest need.

I haven't got a credit or debit card, can I pay some other way?

We do accept payments through Paypal. There are various ways of transferring money into a Paypal account so that you can use it to pay us. See the Paypal website for further details.

I'm afraid we cannot accept money-orders or cheques.

I've never used my credit card over the Internet before - can I be sure your site is safe?

Yes.

Many people would argue that using a credit or debit card over the Internet is far safer than, say, using it to pay for a meal in a restaurant. When you pay over the Internet, there is no paper copy of your credit card number that can be stolen, for example, by a rogue employee.

When you purchase from Selfesteem4women.com, your payment details are handled over a Secure Connection by Worldpay - one of the largest and most trusted of all Internet payment processing companies. Worldpay is owned by The Royal Bank of Scotland, which is the fifth largest bank in the world.

Please note that nobody at Selfesteem4women.com ever has access to your credit or debit card numbers.

why do you charge for your self-help resources: shouldn't advice on self-esteem be free to all women who need it?

We have to charge for our premium self-help resources in order to fund the website as we have no grants or government funding to support our work. Some women find that the free tests and recommendations are sufficient to help them get started in making improvements to their lives. Others recognise that they require more in-depth guidance and support and go on to purchase the self-help resources they need to succeed. This is a delicate balance in terms of our own funding, but we're managing to maintain the site on limited resources and we're developing a better service with each passing day. We can't say that it's not tough, but it's emotionally rewarding work and everybody at Selfesteem4women.com feels passionately committed to helping as many women as we possibly can!

Our biggest cost is in advertising: people are often unaware of the fact that you have to pay vast sums of money to Google and Yahoo! nowadays in order to have a reasonable presence on the web. And we have a team of people developing our services and providing excellent customer support, and I have to pay them because they need to feed their kids somehow!

I can't afford your self-help resouces - what can I do?

We do understand that it can be frustrating when you feel financially constrained but don't worry, you don't have to purchase the self-help resources if you can't afford them right now; just enjoy what the site has to offer and perhaps when you get a spare $15 in your pocket then you can choose to invest in yourself in this way. The self-help resources will help you, so you are doing the right thing by keeping them in the back of your mind for a later date.

In the meantime, make sure that you download your free eReports, read the latest articles in our online Library and look out for the next edition of our eZine in your inbox. We do value you as a member whether you choose to buy services from Selfesteem4women.com or not.

I'd like to retake one of your tests but don't know how, or
I've messed up and want to overwrite my results - how can I do it?

We do offer a retake of The Ultimate Self-esteem Test, but only to those of our members who are actively working on their self-esteem or stress levels having purchased at least one of our self-help resources. The reason is that your self-esteem will not really improve, and your stress levels are unlikely to reduce, unless you do something actively to change your situation.

Generally we recommend to members that they should aim to retake each test about 6-12 weeks after beginning to work with us. At that point, their increased self-esteem will have begun to become a part of their indentity and they can expect to see a reliable reflection of that improvement. The same goes for stress-reduction.

If you've actually just "messed up" your answers to one of our tests, then it may be possible for us to reset your Account so that you can start again. Please email us if you need to request this.

I'm struggling to download - please can you help me?

The most likely reason why you are struggling is if you are left-clicking on the download link instead of RIGHT-CLICKING. Please could you just try to download the file again by carefully following these simple steps:

  • Position your mouse over your chosen download link and then RIGHT-CLICK (be sure not to left-click by mistake!)
  • Select the "Save Target As" or "Save Link As" option from the menu that pops up
  • Choose a folder on your computer's hard-drive in which to save your free download (My Documents is a common choice)
  • Click "OK" or "Save" (depending on your operating system)
  • When the file has finished downloading (usually only a few seconds unless your Internet connection is very slow), you can click "Open" if the option is available and you would like to view or print the file right away
  • If there is no option to "Open", or the file doesn't open for some reason, simply locate it on your hard-drive using your File Manager and double-click it: the document should then open automatically with Adobe Acrobat Reader
  • If the file opens as a text file (full of gibberish), simply close it again then re-open it - but this time RIGHT-CLICK on the filename and choose "Open With" then select Adobe Acrobat Reader

If you are using a Mac computer, please use CONTROL-CLICK in place of the RIGHT-CLICK instructions above.

when I try to download my files I get a message saying "file could not be found"

The first thing to do is check CAREFULLY that you have followed the download instructions EXACTLY. In 95% of cases where it appears that there is "nothing there" it's because someone has left-clicked on the download link and then selected "Open" from the popup box.

Please make sure that you RIGHT-CLICK the download link, and then select "Save Target As" from the drop down menu that appears. Then you choose the location in which you want to store your files. Once the download is complete you will find that the self-help resources are safely stored on your hard drive.

You can then open them using Adobe Acrobat and print them out at your convenience. If you follow these instructions and still get stuck, use one of the contact us links and our Technical Support Team will be happy to help.

after I've downloaded my eWorkbooks, they seem to be full of gibberish

This is a very rare problem (and not really a frequently asked question) but is included here for completeness. It can arise for one of two reasons:

(a) your computer is using the wrong program to open files that have a .pdf extension. To correct this, follow these steps:

  • open File Manager on your computer
  • highlight one of our eWorkbooks
  • select File->Open With from the top toolbar
  • select Adobe Acrobat Reader from the list of programs you see
  • check the box that says "always use this program to open these files"
  • click "OK"

(b) you have a very old version of Adobe Acrobat Reader installed on your computer, in which case you simply need to upgrade it (remember it's free to do so) by visiting your "My Account" page on Selfesteem4women.com and clicking on the yellow Adobe Acrobat Reader icon.

how do I fill in the exercises within the eWorkbooks that I've purchased? I can't seem to edit them.

All of the self-help resources that you download from our website are in the form of pdf files. The reason why the majority of eBooks are now available in pdf format is to prevent people - including potential competitors - from editing the content and infringing legal copyrights. This why you cannot write directly into the eWorkbooks on your computer. Please note that our eWorkbooks OPENED on your computer and PRINTED OUT so that you can have them in your hands and refer to them wherever you want. They are not a computer "program" that can only be read on the computer. So, in effect, you can make your own "books" and you can write in them as you wish.

This is standard practice within the Industry, and if you refer to Page 3 of any of the eWorkbooks you've purchased you'll see that we explain this fully. However, Adobe Acrobat Reader does include a note-writing facility, which allows you to place notes on top or beside the text so you may wish to check out this option if you only wish to work on the computer rather than with a paper copy of our material. To do this just click on the Note Tool option in the Adobe toolbar at the top of the screen when you have an eWorkbook open.

how does the Confidence Café work?

The Café is a place to meet other women, to outline your own strategy for improving your self-esteem, and to share your successes when they occur. If you'd like women to write to you then you can leave an email address of your choice each time you leave an entry; alternatively, you can remain anonymous by leaving the email field blank. Please note the Café is NOT an advice center and it is NOT a chat room.

If you feel stuck and don't know what to do to improve your self-esteem, please DO NOT attempt to seek advice and answers from other members who are often as vulnerable as you are. The first thing to do is review the recommendations made to you after taking the Ultimate Self-esteem Test for Women. The second thing to do is download and read through your Self-esteem eReport, which you can find on your "My Account" page on the website. If you still feel stuck then please contact us for more guidance and support.

Once you've taken all these steps and you have a clear idea of how to improve your situation then you'll be ready to enjoy the Café. We ask you to read and accept our Café guidelines before making an entry there, and we do delete messages from women who breach these guidelines.

Some members have asked us to consider supplementing the Café with a "chat room", but we believe that a chat room would not add real value to the vast majority. There is a BIG difference between wanting to do something actively to improve low self-esteem (which is what our site's about) and simply describing how tough life is for a particular individual in order to gain sympathy from a wider audience. In our experience, chat rooms tend to reinforce low self esteem rather than contain exchanges from mutually supportive women who are trying to improve their lives.

When members form a "connection" in the Café, they are of course free to correspond directly with each other by email, which is a much better option than a chat room because it is more intimate and tends to spark real friendships instead of encouraging superficial, meaningless interactions. For example, it's very easy to act in a supportive manner when you're using a false name and know that the person you are "supporting" will never really get to know the real you. Because most women who use our site feel vulnerable in some way, we do not want to encourage this type of exchange. Those women who would like to spark up an interaction offline with other women leave their email addresses so that you can write to them. There are tips on how to do this at the top of the Café page (just make sure that you sign in before trying to find the link). Many women write to each other offline and we regularly get emails from women saying that they've made a great friends in the Café.

We make sure that at least three months' worth of contributions are accessible in the Café, which means that there are usually well over 1000 entries to view! Therefore, if you're a woman who is looking to find a kindred spirit out there somewhere, you'll have a pretty good chance if you're prepared to sift back through previous pages by using the drop-down menu that is located just above the most recent entry on the right hand side of the screen.

my entry in the Confidence Café seems to have disappeared - why?

We remove entries that contravene the guidelines that we publish for use of our Confidence Café. Please re-read your Café commitments before attempting to place another entry.

can I remain anonymous when I leave an entry in the Café?

That's not a problem. Simply leave the "email address" field blank, and your email address will not be displayed. Alternatively, you can add a different email address - if you have one - from the one you used to become a member of Selfesteem4women.com so that women can contact you but not have access to the email address that you wish to remain private. The choice is yours. What we would ask is that you do not set up a different account with us, because we prefer to communicate with you as a real woman with one account.

do you run courses?
can you recommend a course I can go on?
can you recommend a good therapist in my area?

Selfesteem4women.com is intended primarily to be a source of self-help for women who want to do something practical about their self-esteem and/or their stress levels in their own time, and often in the privacy of their own homes.

We mainly deliver results through our unique downloadable self-help resources that provide everything needed to make a real difference to a woman's approach to herself and to her life. Also, we provide online one-to-one coaching for those women who seek a more personal touch with in-depth guidance on specific issues.

Because of our focus on the continuing development of better and better Internet services, we are at this time unable to offer seminars and courses ourselves unless they are part of a structured program sponsored by an employer or training and development agency - and we need to plan these with a leadtime of several weeks.

We offer a global service, so it would be impossible for us to know all of the other professionals who may offer group seminars or courses in your local area. However, we do try to include references to other trusted sources in our link pages.

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